smelen's Xanga

the heavenly man

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 22:37:59 GMT

i went to a church on Sunday where Brother Yun, the author of The Heavenly Man, was the guest speaker. i didn't really know anything about him, not having read the book or heard anything specific about his life. but i'm really glad i got to go.

one of the first things he said was, "i love Jesus because he first loved me."

he went on to talk about being in prison, suffering, being tortured and all those sorts of persecution stories. i couldn't believe what he was saying. he was describing some of the darkest cruelty and suffering that one might experience, and still, we could hear in his voice that he knew that God loved him. he talked about how, even when he had lost hope, God was still faithful. he told us that Jesus appeared to him once in his prison cell and said, "your prison cell is real, but I am the Truth, and the Truth will set you free!" Jesus told him to stand and walk out of there. and he stood and walked out, on two feet that had been deliberately crushed to the point of permanent disability.

as i was leaving the church, i didn't feel a dreadful weight of injustice and suffering. instead, i felt an overwhelming sense of how much God must love that guy. it must have grieved God's heart to allow such terrible things to be afflicting someone he cares about. absolutely heart-wrenching. but maybe He persevered and allowed those tough times, more like a means to an end... that all along, he was drawing brother yun closer, comforting him, healing him, and literally setting him free. maybe God was letting him know Christ in this intimate and deep way so that he would be able to make Christ known.

so, even after hearing about the horrific things he's endured, i left thinking that Brother Yun was one lucky guy to be so loved by God.

lovelove,
me

Global Health

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 14:00:41 GMT

Bill and Melinda Gates have started something called The Living Proof Project. It's kind of an outline of successes, progress, and achievements, as well as living proof stories of people's lives that have been changed. It's an encouragement that US moneys haven't been put to waste and that we should continue with global health efforts. Here is a speech about the project by Bill and Melinda.

I like that they are connecting what they're doing in the world with normal everyday people like you and me. I didn't actually finish watching it because it got boring... so I guess it might be actually missing the point... But still. It's a good idea and worth browsing.

lovelove,
me

perspective

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 21:21:27 GMT

when i'm sitting at an intersection, traffic lights just usually don't look that big. sometimes it takes someone else to help see things in a more accurate perspective.

"Gentlemen, for the love of God, let us buy big maps."
--Lord Salisbury

lovelove,
me

my 30th!

Mon, 17 Aug 2009 00:24:09 GMT

here i am with LaWanda who made me birthday cake pops--they were fudge-y chocolate cake covered in white chocolate and sprinkles, on a lollipop stick! this is one of the many reasons my 30th birthday was the most fantastic one i've ever had. i was showered in song, wishes, fb messages, cards, gifts, hugs, and yummy good foods (thank you everyone!!!). the most meaningful part was being christened into a kingery family tradition--my wonderful husband made me chocolate chip pancakes for my birthday breakfast (thank you my husband!!!). i feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

i don't have much to say about being 30, other than i don't feel like i'm 30 quite yet. it reminds me of a short story called "Eleven" by Sandra Cisneros. it has a sad sort of way about it, but i like it, and it starts off this way:

"What they don’t understand about birthdays and what they never tell you is that when you’re eleven, you’re also ten, and nine, and eight, and seven, and six, and five, and four, and three, and two, and one. And when you wake up on your eleventh birthday you expect to feel eleven, but you don’t. You open your eyes and everything’s just like yesterday, only it’s today. And you don’t feel eleven at all. You feel like you’re still ten. And you are—underneath the year that makes you eleven."

here's to a new decade. :O) many years after age eleven.

hubby and me:

lovelove,
me

wedding brain

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 01:07:27 GMT

i'm suffering from what i have expertly diagnosed as wedding brain. i've decided that it's rather similar to brain damage, though just temporary (i hope). i have this one-track mind, and i unintentionally halt every conversation and steer it to be about weddings (see last couple of posts). it's kind of irritating, to be honest, and i don't realize i've done it until i've been having diarrhea of the mouth about processional music for enough time to make anyone's entire body go numb from boredom. i have an obscene amount of trouble making decisions. i'm quite erratic and unproductive. i also can't remember to do anything unless it's written on my one 8.5x11 sheet of folded-up, recycled paper that's currently acting as our wedding planner. i'm tempted to start writing down basic things like eat dinner, drink water, sleep, go to the mall.

i've never been the kind of girl to get excited about wedding stuff, so to be sure, i'm not really excited even now--the wedding is (for the most part) a means to an end. i can't wait to be Shane's wife and for him to be my husband. and i should probably also say that i think the day will be really nice, and it will be amazing to have so many of our loved ones in one place. :O)

ah, so there you go, another wedding post. wedding. wedding. wedding. wedding. i'm sorry. 12 more days!

lovelove,
wedding.

wedding hair

Wed, 29 Apr 2009 01:23:15 GMT

in efforts to save some money (as well as try to protect myself from the real danger of very-big-and-uncomfortable-wedding hair), i think i might try to do my own hair for the wedding. i did a trial run the other weekend. after gobs and gobs of mousse, blow-drying, hot rollers, curling irons, hairspray and bobby pins... the verdict is... it was pretty for about 20 minutes. i will return to the drawing board, perhaps with a couple of extra styling instruments at my disposal. ...perhaps something that will permanently damage my thick, stubbornly straight hair into being slightly curled.

oh and btw, my fiance is finally coming back to the States... tomorrow! yippee! :O) i think i'll leave the curlers at home.

lovelove,
olive oyle

i have two wedding gowns

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 13:56:36 GMT

i'm slightly embarrassed about this, but i'm going to say it here, on the world wide web, that i have two wedding gowns. yes, i know that i don't need two. and no, i'm not rich enough to be able to do this sort of thing. so i'm selling one on ebay. if you wish to see the one that is not-the-dream-dress, here it is. if you want it, let me know. if you know someone else who might want it, let them know. if you want to advertise for me, that sounds great too. :O)

lovelove,
whoopsie daisy

PS: if your name is adam, you may or may not be advised to look at those ebay photos (you would know for sure if this applies to you). thanks. :O)

gas station advertisements

Mon, 20 Apr 2009 01:31:37 GMT

as we were waiting for the tank to fill up, i glanced over at the glass door filled with posters, and i casually asked my friend, "do they sell cocaine here?" she looked at me and responded just as casually, "do you need some?"

apparently, it's an energy drink. i feel behind the times, friends.

lovelove,
oldie locks

wedding dresses

Sun, 29 Mar 2009 15:39:28 GMT

so, i went wedding dress shopping yesterday. i had put my planning on hold for various reasons that i don't wish to go into right here (sorry that this delay in turn affects everyone else's planning), but i decided to finally go shopping for my dress. i had been once before, and it was slightly uncomfortable due to the fact that i was diving headfirst into enormous and complicated gowns by myself, not really liking (or feeling like myself in) anything i tried on, and still being expected to stand on a pedestal for everyone to look at and tell me those perfunctory compliments through plastic smiles. not really my idea of a good time.

yesterday, there were lots of dresses that i actually liked. i actually wanted to stand on a pedestal for people to admire these dresses on me. ha. it turns out that my body, with its abnormally long torso and other strange measurements, is well built to support very expensive designer wedding gowns. who knew. the more expensive, the better. my favorite one so far costs about a third of what i was expecting my entire wedding budget to be. maybe if i wear it everyday for a few years, i could justify buying it...

lovelove,
smelly couture

room with a view

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 23:45:55 GMT

i was at the grocery store with one of my housemates the other night. i was picking out a box of soda (diet cherry 7up isn't bad, by the way), and she was just browsing down the aisle of what was opposite the soft drinks. i'm thankful, because in my search, i was not paying attention to what was behind me... it was all the pet stuff. she didn't say much, she mostly just pointed. to this:

yes, friends, for only $59.99, you too can have a room with a view for your puppy and kitten. it's awfully cute, and looks rather sturdy... probably would be a good investment.

i guess it just strikes my funny bone because it's in the soda aisle. and it's $59.99. and it's a room with a view. for your pets. i hope frank doesn't get any ideas. momma doesn't have that much cash to spend on a balcony for him. plus that ladder would be really hard on his fins.

lovelove,
secret shopper